what............?!!!

last year, there's this certain guy that really caught my attention., at first i didn't wan't to entertain it but as time goes by its like it was always him hmm... let say siya ang lagi ko nakikita, ewan ko ba kung bakit. i immediately told my friend just right beside me and pointed to her the guy that i just saw and i was right we both had the same reaction about him, 'guwapo siya'... she even told me (my classmate) that they were schoolmate before during her high school years, hay how small the world is talaga... from then on that guy which i will call him at the moment as 'star' was always on my mind (ows....?!), i even had a picture on him during a certain event that made my attraction to him grow stronger., but because of our projects that made us busy of course hindi ko na siya masyado nakikita kasabay ng pa unti - unit pagka wala ng attraction ko sa kanya, i dont know why basta yun na yun... during our second semester we became classmates in on of my majors, and at that time parang wala lang, and mas nakilala ko siya at tama nga ang sabi ng friend ko na mabait siya.... i was wondering then why...? kung kailan na mas palagi ko na siya nakikita at makakausap parang wala yung feeling nung una ko siya makita parang spark ba o magic i dont know... to the point that i conclude that what i'm feeling for from the first time that i saw him was gone hindi ko alam kung bakit.... hanggang sa mag end ang 2nd semester class namin w/o explaining what i was really feeling about him... and again we became classmate at the start of the first sem just this year and i was determined that i don't have a crush on him anymore... but... but... but there's this certain event that just happened right after 1st semester class of this school year ended that made me realized if my feelings for him was really gone... i didn't expect naman kasi that he would do that such thing to me that might as well will make the other girls giggles... according to my friendly friends whom i was with during that escapade 'its like he took the authority in taking care of me' well at first i don't believe kasi naman who would have though that a guy like him will you know make all the necessary things just to make sure i'm all safe and alright...but then as i slowly remember it's like that's when i realized if my feelings for him was still there... ewan ko ba habang naaalala koduring those times na nag rereminisce ako sa escapade parang unti-unti rin bumabalik you know my feelings for him... pero crush lang nothing exceeds... but some of friendly friends na nakasama ko sa escapade kinukulit ako kung natuluyan na ba talaga ako sa kanya... but my answer to them is NO...! kasi hindi ko matanggap na bumalik yung feelings ko sa kanya.... honestly kasi though we both all know na age doesn't matter but still i can't accept the fact na mas bata siya sa akin and... ayaw ko sa chain smoker talgang turn off sa akin yun.. pero that's not the point nor the question., the question is kung natuluyan ba talaga ako sa kanya i admitted to them naman kasi na before he was my crush but that then before hindi na ngayon pero mostly sa kanila hindi naniniwala, well i don't care problema na nila yun... well sa ngayon unti - unti ko na tinatanggap na crush ko na siya ulit., sana lang hindi niya malaman kasi i don't want to lose the kind of friendship that we had that i consider it as special....(,")