what should i do?

for some reason, sometimes i don't understand why these past few days i felt like i did nothing for good, I mean I really feel that I'm useless... sometimes i tried to smile to hide the pain or laugh to cover the hurt i felt inside... we know that life never seems the way we want it but we try so hard to live the best we can. i know that if you're inlove you need not to ask advice from the others because it's better to think that you're hurt because of you're own decision rather than to accept the wrong move you've done because of listening to others. they say that at some point we hate the person who hurt us, but what will you do if you knew that certain person..? well... i really don't know what to do either., why do we say we're ok whenever we get hurt? is this the way to show to everyone that we're brave enough to handle the pain? or just our way to pretend we're fine though we all know that we're totally broken.. on the hardest time of my life is being questioned when me myself don't even understand, trying to forget of something that i know i never will, and this time trying to part and letting go of someone that i'm beginning to love..? though it hurts but i should learn to let go... sometime we have to stop loving someone because we don't have anymore reasons to fight for what we feel. loving him was one thing i was afraid of and i was certainly right because it hurts, it's hard to love him when I know I can never have him in any ways I wanted especially when i think that I've already admitted to myself that I've already fallen for that someone. it's really hard to go on while you love someone secretly and it hurts when seeing your love with someone else... this heart of mine sometimes speaks of so much things or feelings to this someone i knew i thought was listening but i was very wrong because all along this person never even dared to listen... I always say that I'm afraid to get hurt that is why I can't even admit to this someone what i really felt and ends up saying 'shit!'... sometimes i think that love is stupid because i tend to love someone who i know can't love me. i know feelings must be expressed, but for me i just can't and i think I never will.