6 Random Facts About Me

been tagged by Alma. Once tagged, write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. In the end of it, pick six of your friends and tag them! No tag backs. The explanation must be included, of course.


1. eat a lot but doesn't get fat
= i really eat a lot but... but... but... i don't get any fats, not that i don't have any fats in my body it's just that i was like still slim...? even you guyz can call me skinny when seeing me in person and that is a big question...




2. at night when can't sleep easily must read to make myself drowsy
= i really can't sleep when i'm not reading something that is why i have so many kinds of books of any kind in my bed from historical romance to fictional...




3. likes reading books of any kind
= i really like reading books esp. when it is historical romance or ethic or some kind of a series juz like the harry potter which i have read its book from 1-6...




4. movie fanatic
= i really am a movie fanatic especially when it comes to my fave actors and actresses...




5. cuts my hair once a year
= that is true... i had my hair cut only for once in a year...




6. has driver's liscense but doesn't know how to drive
= until now i still don't know how to drive and that's driving me crazy...


i am tagging the writers of the following:
dacky
ting2
cherry joy
totwa's hunt
gracey's under the sun
ite alumni

gosh...!!

it's been so long but still i can remember everything... the way when you annoy me but makes me feel so safe when you're just around or beside me... i never thought we would be apart (as if naging tayo or meron..?!), but now it's just been way too long since that maybe the incident?... i really want to hear you voice again, you and i talking to each other in a smooth way, miss the way you make me smile... i don't know but for me i know maybe having my life with you would not be perfect but that's life and there's nothing i can do about it... the way i felt for you before was still here until now... i thought after you've hurt me would fade you away from my mind and of course in my heart but i was wrong, very wrong... i sometimes wake up each day dreaming of you and i together. i will never forget you and i also hope you do and all that i am will always be the same... i'm here right now all alone lying here in sorrow, i longed to hold and talk to you... i just realize that i was trying to replace you since i've made that decision (and it's because of you...!) when you'd hurt me so much... it's not that no one can make me laugh and smile like the way you do but at some point in my life you made me so happy and i don't know when was that... maybe no one can ever take your special place here in my heart... i feel that my heart was smashed into peices and left me crying every night to sleep with a pain in my heart of how you've hurt me... i know you don't realize what you have just done to me 'cause i know you're too dumb to admit it... i was soooo stupid of allowing myself to fall for you and having this mistake would never bring me back the things i used to do... i know i'm not that perfect, but before i used to think that i don't want to give you up... i've waited too long just to be with you but i guessed it would never happen... i used to think that you know that i like you a lot, but that was before... but i guess i need to vent and let you know how i feel to ease the pain i had inside and please don't take my venting in the wrong way because that would just make me even more imperfect than i already am...

for you...?

i really like this song because this is the first song i heard when i was totally hurt and was trying to move on...

i some kind of affected by this qoute and i don't know why...?

have i..?!!!

have i...? why they say or ask if i have moved on...? as if i was hurt or whatsoever... maybe i was but it didn't take me too long to get over with. i don't want to allow myself to lose my head over him, ewe... it doesn't mean because i was so maybe infatuated to him before that my head will be over my heels because of him, who does he think he is?! as of now well it's not that i don't care about him anymore but what i mean is i just don't want to be near him because i don't know i always get upset and i don't know why.. someone told me that why don't i wish that sometime i was a little kid again because skinned knees are easier to heal than broken hearts and i answered that well it's ok and i've already move on because i know very well from the start that we're not meant for each other though sometimes i can't help to think why him...? of all people... well i guess that's life and just have to go with the flow...

Imagehosting

goodbye...

it's really hard to say goodbye to someone whom you've known like for more than a decade.. if i were to ask, i wouldn't let her go but what can i do? if i was her i would also wish or plan to go to another country to have a work that is suitable for me, living in country were finding a job or employment rate is very low... i was hoping or wish that i can go with her but not until i finish my studies.. well anyway she promise that she will come to my graduation day (hopefully soon...) and i know she will cause she say's so that she'll be here a year after... and if ever i plan to go abroad she promised that she will help me in anyway she can.. ask her 3 days ago what it will be like there living all alone...? she answered then that it will be really hard for me, but i know i can do this'.. that was her answer... we kept teasing her together with our friend that she can't do it and it would not take too long before she will be back here in the philippines, because the truth is we'll be really missing her so much.. she always plead to us that we must not make it hard for her and she needed our full support.. and it is what we are going to do. well i hope and i know that she'll be fine there with the people around her who's in full support in everything she does and so do i...

ouch...!2

here i am again... i don't know, maybe i'm just paranoid.. i think i feel dumb and stupid with the people and the things that is happening around, not knowing what were they really thinking.. should i get mad or what..?! i also think that i don't have the right to get annoyed or hurt, should i? but to tell the truth, behind my joys and laughters right now is so many kinds of pains i try to hide... to get over with it, i tried to do a lot of things just to divert my attention from it, like trying to sleep late at night or eating as much as i wanted. though it's hard but i'm trying, because it's like almost everyday that this pain inside is getting worse that i can't almost bear it anymore...

hahai...

oh my, what day... early in the morning yesterday i'm already pissed off by this person or rather let's say i was hurt, if only she knew how mad i was to her when she told me that . .... ...., and if i only knew that that would be her answer when iwas just telling her something i wish i didn't ask her right away... hhmmm... it was about to fade away when she kept telling me this i thought the magic word but well i don't know for others but for me, well i don't know what would be the perfect or nice word or sentence to say.. i can't explain it either and until now i'm still mad.. i didn't have time to sleep just because of it... well i guess i have to get over with it or forget about it (forgive and forget...?!!!) because i think i might get crazy and i don't want it to happen, though i think the wound inside is still in the process to be healed...

pissed off...!

here i am again... honest to goodness i am already pissed off to those people whom i thought are real... maybe they are but its just that i don't know i felt like i'm an outsider or alien or whatsoever... i'm trying to make it like nothing happen. sometimes i think that eversince from the start they don't like me, they're just pretending to be and i'm so dumb for not noticing it. i know i need not to do anything to make people please in everything that i do because you can't please them that easy even if I wanted to. what i wanted to say is that if they don't like or to be with me i wanted them to say it in front me not with behind my back because that would make my world for sure crazy.... as of now i felt bad and pity for myself because of this situation that i am in right now... i don't know when will i be able to overcome this but i'm trying, because if i go on like this i don't know what will happen to me for the next few days that is why i hope that i will and when that time comes that will make me feel at ease again...

reflection1

just reflection for me to remind myself that lifeis really about living for God not for myself because we just borrowed it. Despite all the things that is happening around me I shouldn't forget that God is still there. I must also focus to to Him because He's the one I know who is responsible why I'm still here on earth. I should give more time to Him and focus it only to Him. Thank Him for allowing me once again to live together with the people I love and can't live without. Because if not for them aside from the up above I wouldn't be able maybe here right now. I know that I don't have the right to question God about what's happening, why there's so many obstacles that I can't almost bear, but sometimes a person can't avoid it especially if you're at a certain point where you can almost reach the thing you've always long for and yet all of a sudden it just got lost without knowing the real reason why and you have no one you can turn to. But well, that's life people will later realize that it's not right to question God in many failures that you've or I encountered (I really haven't questioned Him at all...!) but instead focus myself hardly to Him and ask for his guidance in every step that I take . Of course say sorry in all mistakes that I shouldn't have done that just cause me nothing but pain. Thank Him in every blessings that He showered upon us. People must always remember that in every happinessnthat they felt, sadness comes next whether they like it or not.

what should i do?

for some reason, sometimes i don't understand why these past few days i felt like i did nothing for good, I mean I really feel that I'm useless... sometimes i tried to smile to hide the pain or laugh to cover the hurt i felt inside... we know that life never seems the way we want it but we try so hard to live the best we can. i know that if you're inlove you need not to ask advice from the others because it's better to think that you're hurt because of you're own decision rather than to accept the wrong move you've done because of listening to others. they say that at some point we hate the person who hurt us, but what will you do if you knew that certain person..? well... i really don't know what to do either., why do we say we're ok whenever we get hurt? is this the way to show to everyone that we're brave enough to handle the pain? or just our way to pretend we're fine though we all know that we're totally broken.. on the hardest time of my life is being questioned when me myself don't even understand, trying to forget of something that i know i never will, and this time trying to part and letting go of someone that i'm beginning to love..? though it hurts but i should learn to let go... sometime we have to stop loving someone because we don't have anymore reasons to fight for what we feel. loving him was one thing i was afraid of and i was certainly right because it hurts, it's hard to love him when I know I can never have him in any ways I wanted especially when i think that I've already admitted to myself that I've already fallen for that someone. it's really hard to go on while you love someone secretly and it hurts when seeing your love with someone else... this heart of mine sometimes speaks of so much things or feelings to this someone i knew i thought was listening but i was very wrong because all along this person never even dared to listen... I always say that I'm afraid to get hurt that is why I can't even admit to this someone what i really felt and ends up saying 'shit!'... sometimes i think that love is stupid because i tend to love someone who i know can't love me. i know feelings must be expressed, but for me i just can't and i think I never will.

is it...?

hmm... just wanted to say or ask this, "does pain can really melt away the love?"

why

well yesterday for me it was so tiring, it's not that i did something the whole day to make me feel exhausted it's just that i was getting tired of hearing the people around me telling me this 'what if he was the one...?' or 'what will i do if one day he will...? urgh..! its making me sick! i do admit that I told to them that he was my crush, but... but... but... that was before and we've talked about it for so many times like i started to feel of being a 'pirated cd'., why? because of those for me a unnerving questions that they always asked... i always told them that it is very much impossible, the thing or whatsoever they wanted to happen between me and him... then they will say that i can't say no or deny because as they say i was very obvious, was I? for them to be satisfied I kept myself quiet and tell them nothing. they say that why would I be so afraid of confiding to them my true feeelings for him..? i just reply i can't tell you anything about it yet because i myself don't even understand or don't know., or maybe i was just afraid to know of what will be the answer.. well, this past few days or weeks i was thinking or rather lets say reflecting that 'what if?' asked so many questions like 'do i still have feelings for him?.' to my surprise i think my answer would be 'yes?'... but... but.. but... again that would be subject to confirm, because i'm not yet sure, I really am. I still have one thing to do before confirming it and that is to talk to him, not about my feelings but it is what my friend and I did to him... I know for me was not that seriouse but then again I don't know what is it for him.. We're not even in good terms as of now. My collegues says that 'that was a few months ago' and i just told them that 'I know and you both know very well that we're not that close' and we both had this attitude 'hot temper', that's why we can't face to each other without yelling or shouting and that is why I always remind myself not to think about it of what my friends was longing to happen for us... As of the moment I see to it that if possible I must avoid that whenever we had this small talk or bonding that the topic will be me and him because I just don't want to not unless what I wanted to do will be granted..

duh...!

why is it that everyone that surrounds me insists that this certain guy we both all know hjad a thing on me... i really don't believe it, why? its because it's really impossible for that guy to well like me..? ewe... my colleagues usually say whenever we had this girl talk that why won't I believe it when in fact its obvious; i told them oh really, well sorry i didn't notice, and why would i notice it when i'm not even thinking about. it's them who keeps on observing things that happens around between me and him... they keep on asking if ever he will talk to me what will i do.? well just talk to him and thats it.. honestly i really wanted to talk to him and make things clear, its not that we had this so called special relationship, its just that i had this feeling that he's mad at me because of what I and my friend did. we both know its not that serious well we don't know what is it for him, but for us it is. I wanted to say sorry to him personally but I just cant and i dont know why. I guess I will never even have the chance, maybe at this moment because maybe its not yet the time but i hope that that time will come, because maybe for me it would be the only way that our relationship as friends will be back, i will talk to him normally and the other way around...

alma's reaction...!!!

kahapon bago me nag uli, cge me lalis ni alma whether kung sa balay na lang siya maligo or mag uli pa siya sa ila balay... gina insist nako sa iya na sa balay na lang para dili na siya mag balik2, kay mao lang gihapon ang gasto dah ba...?!! as in kulit au imagine maulaw daw siya, ingnan pud nako pag puyo oi...! karon pa ka ma ulaw ka dugay na nimo sige tulog sa balay, ka baga na lang jud ug kewong....! hay... nagnu naa may mga tao na ulawon daw kuno pero baga gud ug nawung.... well... well... well... dili sa ana ako pasabot kay alma, gusto lang nako na dil;i na siya au maka gas2 kay as far as i know naga tipid siya kay iyaha lagi daw na gas2 na summer niya karon... kay for everyone's benefit alma is a full scholar student ... as in dili ka maka kita ug grade ani na below 90, sus kanus-a pa kaya ko maka grade ug ingana...?!!! kung ako sa imo almz ayaw na pag ulaw2..